The F Word

We all claim we have it, some more than others. If we don’t have it we’re trying to find it and it’s pretty important that we do. I’ll be the first to admit that it does come in handy when we’re bored or need advice about our love lives or someone to eat lunch with, but we almost always get sick of it when we’re around it for too long. It gives us memories and laughs and most importantly, a sense of self. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m talking about friendship.

Growing up, my best friends were my neighbors. We would run around outside, barefoot and sweaty, playing capture the flag until it got so dark that we couldn’t see the person running in front of us. In elementary school I had a new set of friends to play kickball with at recess and trade fruit roll-ups with at lunch. When we all left the small, bubble of our Catholic grade school and dispersed to different high schools, we promised to always stay friends. Inevitably, that promise didn’t last long. In high school there were new friends and teammates and Friday night football games and homecoming dances and pep rallies.

So was this the norm, a new set of friends for every season of life?

It’s sometimes hard to understand the true value of friendship until you meet people who are worth valuing. I’m talking about real, honest, call you at three in the morning, have your back in a fight and drive 300 miles to see you, friends. The kind of stuff that lasts a lifetime and makes you reconsider the meaning of loyalty.  These are the people who know everything about you, all of your flaws, weird quirks, and embarrassing moments but choose to love you nonetheless. They allow you to be completely and utterly yourself and they are so much a part of you that it’s impossible to outgrow them.

I have been fortunate enough to find a few people, in my 21 years of life, whom I consider true friends. They have taught me things I could’ve never learned on my own (forgiveness, how to make Oreo balls, etc.) and they have consistently been a rock in my life. The most interesting fact, however, is that the people I am closest with today aren’t the people I expected. There was a time when I thought my grade school best friend would be my maid of honor or that my high school boyfriend would be my husband, but things don’t always work out the way we once hoped.

People come into our lives every day and we have no idea the role they will play or the influence they will have on us. Everyone we encounter impacts us in some way, shape, or form, specifically past friendships and relationships.  The fact that some people fall out of our lives doesn’t make them less important but rather, important to us at a different time. The people who are truly meant to be a part of our lives will come to us and stay and it will be so obvious why things didn’t work out the way we once wanted them too. In all honesty, there's no way to truly know if the friends I have now will be my friends in 30 years, but I believe that the secret to keeping real, lifelong friends is simply to be one.