Your Competition

I want to challenge a common concept. The phrase, “you are your only competition,” is something we’ve all been told before. It seems to make plenty of sense. You should always strive to be better and you shouldn’t waste your time comparing yourself to others. We are all unique beings with different talents and attributes. Therefore, the real battle should be fought between the person you are, and the person you aspire to become. Right?

I disagree. For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with negative self-talk. I get frustrated when I can’t remember the answer to a question on an exam or when I can’t focus to write a paper. It’s most apparent on the basketball floor. When I’m not performing to my standards, I get down on myself.  I’m overcome with negative emotions and it almost feels as if my mind is fighting against my body, rather than the two working in unison. I’m not sure why this has become such a consistent habit because it rarely seems to produce positive results. When I start competing against myself, overanalyzing every move and setting unrealistic expectations, I almost always end up disappointed. 

In the book, “Measure What Matters,” author Katie Pain explains the most effective benchmarks when measuring marketing/public relations success for a business. These benchmarks include your peers, yourself overtime and an industry average. Pain says, “Ideally you would benchmark against three peers (or competitors): A stretch goal, an equal company and an underdog who’s just beginning to nip at your heels.” From a business standpoint, determining these benchmarks makes perfect sense. Your company may be unique, but learning from the successes and failures of other businesses is always a strategic move. Next, companies should compare themselves to their past performance by using data and research. Lastly, decide how the company is performing relative to the market. As I read this, I realized something important.

Instead of constantly competing against myself and criticizing my every mistake, I need to take a step back, see things from another perspective and adopt a more businesslike mindset. Realizing that there will always be someone who is better at basketball will inspire me to improve. Recognizing that there will always be someone who is worse can help me form more realistic goals and standards. Learning from my peers can help me grow in ways I would’ve never achieved from solely competing against myself. 

Comparing yourself to others may not be the conventional advice, but it just might be healthier and more realistic. No one is perfect, not even you. True success is simply giving your best effort every day and finding peace within yourself.  Every shot won’t go in and every test grade won’t be an A, but if you’re giving your best effort, you’re inevitably building a foundation for success.